Cancer Strikes Back!

Assalamualaikum and hello all,

A few weeks ago, I mentioned about the swelling on my gum and my doctor decided to do a biopsy and a ct scan. I also mentioned that when your forehead has been printed with the letter "C" you are in a constant fear that cancer will come and make fun of you again. Well, that fear has become a reality.

Yesterday, I went for my follow up half hoping that the results would be negative (Something inside me is saying that it is back). So, when my name was called, I anxiously walked into the doc's office and silently praying that everything would be fine. However, we can only pray but god almighty has his own plan for us. I was informed that the results came out positive. I was not really shocked because this kind of thing is to be expected but disappointed. Because it came back so fast. I mean it has only been 3 months. Surely this friend called "C" just can't wait to play another game with me.

This time, it attacked the gum and the right mandible (lower jaw). The doctor set Aug 13 for my operation. Its going to take about 6 to 7 hours. So, I will be in the dreamland again. They will remove the lower right jaw and reconstruct it with a piece of bone taken from another part of my body. The doc said that I am still lucky because they can still operate on me. There are a lot of recurrence cases where they can't do anything any more. So, for that I count my blessings. But then, this time around I am not as terrified as before because I know what to expect. Its going to be the swollen neck, tracheostomy, feeding tube, IV tubes etc and all the wonderful doctors and nurses all over again.

I just hope that I have the strength, faith and endurance to fight this battle. Well, I survived before. Why wouldn't I this time, right? The hardest part of facing all this is to break the news to the loved ones knowing that they care too much about me. To see the agony on their faces again, all that worry. the tears and so on. I know that my suffering would strain them emotionally. Thats why I intend to be strong and by god I will be strong for their sake. I am going to beat this. This is just like crossing a bridge and I will be at the other side of the bridge. (Said by a newfound friend who is also in the same journey as I am)

So, friends, thats the latest development about me. I will keep you updated.

Bye, for now.

Wassalam.

Sharifah

"Life is too short"