Friends

Hello,

Oral cancer takes away a lot of your life if you survive. Your ability to speak and therefore to perform in your job, socialise, eat, and to a certain extend your friends and even spouses. This is the time that you are lucky enough to find out who your friends really are. Some survivors are really blessed with people around them who truly care and go out of their way to make life easier and more meaningful. Some are also fortunate to make new friends, friends that they had never met pre cancer who come forward to offer help in every way selflessly and unconditionally. I find it truly amazing that there are actually many people out there who would just extend their hands whenever you need help. All you have to do is ask and they are there.

However, there are also friends who would just shy away from you, not because they don't like you anymore, but just that they are probably afraid that they might be saying the wrong thing and end up offending you. In my case, my slurring speech sometimes scare people off from talking to me. When they can't make out what I say, they would be very apologetic, for making me repeat it a few times. I do not blame them at all because I am aware how I sound like. I speak with an "accent" and I am not offended.

Since losing my tongue, I am not as talkative as before, especially with people who are not used to the way I speak now. Not to say that I am embarrassed with my condition now but I don't want to embarrass them for not understanding what I say. You see, some people would go to the extent of pretending that they know what I’m saying just to avoid an uncomfortable situation. And I hate making anyone feel uncomfortable around me.

Usually, when I say a word that is not understood, I would try to find other ways of saying it. For instance, I had a telephone conversation with a friend this morning. I told her that my medical leave would be over in January 09. I pronounced the word medical, “mae-i-al” because I could not produce the /d/ and /k/ sounds. Then, she asked, “what?” . So, I knew that she could not figure that word out. So, I said, “Oh..I have to go back to work in February next year.” Then, she responded by saying that its great that I would be working soon.

However, one good thing that has come out from this is that, my writing has improved tremendously since I have to rely on my writing more than before to express my thoughts.


Its just great to be alive!

Cheers!