What Do We Teach Our Children?

In many cultures, politeness is of utmost importance, especially among children. In inculcating such values to the children, parents often scare the children by saying things like, "if you like to curse, or say bad things to others or simply being rude to others, one day god will cut your tongue off". Another tendency is to tell the children that if they stick their tongues out to others, god will also cut their tongues off. We hope that by saying so, children will hold their tongues and not embarrass you in front of friends or stranger.

One day, an old friend, along with her niece came to visit me. With my slurring speech, we talked about a lot of things. Her niece was watching me intently, probably wondering why I slurred. Then, she blurted out, "Pasal apa makcik cakap macam tu?" or "Why are you talking like that?". So, my friend explained that I had no tongue. She asked why. My friend explained again that my tongue was diseased and the doctor had to cut it off. Then, the talkative 3 year old girl asked again, "Makcik dulu suka maki orang ka?" or "Did you like to curse others?". There you go. It hit me hard because this is what most of us tend to teach our children. We tend to take the shortcut instead of explaining to them that cursing people is just plain rude and rude people will not have many friends. My friend was so embarrassed and apologised to me profusely. How should you answer that innocent child? After all, that's what the adults have been hammering into her head all these years! Then, I said that its ok because its not her fault. I was sincere.

Fortunately, none of my three children are that talkative. Whenever they are curious about someone, they would wait until we are alone and ask. That gives me a chance to explain to them properly. Even in my case, they just accept me as I am and I have no problem communicating with them about my current physical condition. Alhamdulillah.

Long after that, my friend called again to apologise should her beloved niece offended me in any way. I said that I am beyond care about how people see me or what they think about the way I look or the way I speak. I went on to say that I can't afford to be offended because if I do, I can't survive and I am not about to surrender to such things. I just have to face it. And now, I can really empathize with those physically handicapped people and how tough it is just to be looked upon and treated like normal people. And to make matters worse, some people would just say to you point blank that you are being punished for something bad that you have done in the past.....

I would like to take this opportunity to wish the muslims Selamat Hari Raya and may this eid be a joyous one for all.

Sorry, I'm supposed to talk about my trip to Mecca recently. However, I got sidetracked by this issue about education our children. Next entry, I promise.

Bye, for now.

Sharifah
"Canccer Sucks"