Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Fight Like Hell

Somebody said to me that those who survive from cancer are patients who either fight like hell or are in complete ignorant (they are not aware that they have cancer). Since there is no way for me to be in the second category, I have no choice but to fight like hell. And fight I will...

One thing for sure is that I am not alone in this battle. I have my family and friends who are also in this battle supplying ammunition whenever possible. My husband tirelessly goes all out to make sure that I don't give up. Why are people scared of cancer? Why is cancer considered a death sentence? For one thing, cancer is a horrible disease and the treatments are just as horrible. And mouth cancer is even worse because the surgery itself is debilitating. For people afflicted with mouth cancer, losing their tongue or part of the tongue is very common. The probability of recurrence is also quite high. So, to prevent recurrence, the mouth cancer patients are subjected to radiotherapy and chemotherapy. This will kill your appetite totally and then, you will have the painful ulcers to deal with.

In my opinion, surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy are only effective for short term. Therefore, completing all the treatments is not the end of the story yet. You will have to change your lifestyle and your mindset. Lifestyle includes the food that you are so used to and also exercise. Cancer is all about unhealthy lifestyle. Your favourite food (such as sugar, animal fat, meat) is also cancer's favourite. So, the more you eat those food, the more cancer cells fluorish. So, now I intend to change my diet altogether (easy, because I cant eat anyway). Today, my husband and I went shopping for the goodies mentioned in Dr Tom Wu's guide to prevent cancer. Dr Wu is a lung cancer stage IV survivor. We bought beetroot, carrot, lemon, parsley, red grapes, beansprout, tomatoes and a lot more which I cant remember). As soon as we got home, we straight away blended all the ingredients and I had to drink it. It was torturous! I thought I could never drink the concoction. After taking a deep breath and reminding myself that I am at war with cancer and I am not about to throw in a white towel, I finally managed to down the whole cup. Then, I realised that my shirt was all wet. I actually sweat profusely. I am supposed to drink the concoction 6 cups a day. Oh...please pray that I'll be able to do that.

All in all, I am doing well. I feel much better now. Yesterday, I drove for the first time after the operation in August and came back in one piece..

Thanks for all your prayers and kind thoughts.

"Life is too short but intend to grow old gracefully"

Tuesday, December 16, 2008



So sorry because I gave a wrong number for my new line. Actually, my new number is

So long....


Saturday, December 13, 2008


Salam and hello,

Many cancer survivors say that recovery period after radiotherapy and chemotherapy is the worst. This is because of the residual effects they have on the patients. I find that its really true. I feel a lot worse after both treatments than during the therapies. The burning sensation, the phlegm, fatigue, sleepless nights, no sense of taste and mouth sores can really drive you up the wall. These can really make you feel down because you just don't know whether it would go away and you start wondering whether the treatments are all worth it and if you die, would you die of cancer or the treatments?!

I am now about 3 weeks post treatments and I am glad to say that most of the problems mentioned above have gone. My voice is a lot clearer ( forgot to mention that I also lost my voice) now. Actually I was quite worried that I would not get my voice back because it happened to somebody I know who had radiotherapy around the neck area and the beam messed up his voicebox. I also sleep better now. The only thing that bugs me now is my appetite is zilch! I can't taste anything at all and I don't know whether I will be able to eat anymore. The only thing that gives me hope are the cancer survivors from the OCF (Oral Cancer Foundation) and the MCF (Mouth Cancer Foundation). Some of them who are also tongueless are able to eat and enjoy just about anything. I still can't imagine doing that just yet but sure hope that I'll qualify to join the club soon! (Insyaallah).

Last Thursday, an old friend, Zarina dropped by with another friend, Chee. We were college mates in Eastern Illinois University. The last time Zarina and I met was on her wedding day. It has been about 20 years and now her eldest son is already in college. When I saw her, I was so shocked because she has not changed one bit. She is just as cute and chirpy as I remember. We talked and reminisced about old time.

Yesterday evening, after being cooped up for days, I decided to follow my husband to the night market. There were a lot of food and the smell was wonderful. Oh...how I miss savouring laksa, fried kueh teow, pasembor, chicken rice and so on. How I wish I could just grab a chair and enjoy all those food...just like the old time. After buying a few things, we left. When we got home, I realised that my handphone was missing when I wanted to call my parents. I was so disappointed and felt so lost..huhu. But then, after a while, I thought to myself, oh heck...its just a handphone, not cancer..haha

So this morning I went to get me a new mobile and register for a new line. So, friends out there, please take note that my new number is 013-5313020 and do sms (text) me because I lost all your numbers. This line will only be operable on Monday evening.

Life is so unpredictable, isn't it?

Bye, for now.

"Life is too short, but intend to grow old gracefully"