Friday, October 30, 2009

How Significant Are We?

Salam again,

Last night, my thought lingered around my late aunt who passed on more than 20 years ago when I was studying the US. She had nerve cancer I think. It attacked her right thigh. It started with a pain on her thigh. She and every one else thought that it was because she was overweight and her weight strained her thigh. So, she went to the traditional medicine practitioner and he massaged her thigh. It didn't work. And her thigh became swollen. Then, she went to another one. She also went to the hospital. Nothing happened. And the swelling got worse. Finally, it got so huge and painful that she was unable to get up. Then, finally, she was taken to the Penang General Hospital where I stayed when I underwent my chemo and radio therapy treatments. When the doctor took the first look at her swollen thigh, he shook his head and right away ordered a biopsy and to everyone's dismay, it was confirmed stage IV cancer and there was little that could be done. Chemo was her only option.

That was long time ago. Chemo treatment was a lot harsher then. From what I heard from my mother, she would scream and writhe every time the chemo drug was injected into her vein and it was unbearable to watch her in such a pain. After a few injections of chemo drug, the doctor finally gave up and said that there was nothing that they could do and continuing with the treatment would only torture her without any positive outcome in sight. Then, her family took her home and she went to meet her maker a few weeks after that at the age of 36, al fatihah.

She is still remembered by those who were close to her. My mom would still be in tears whenever she talks about her sister. My mom said that at the time of her passing she was so frail and was down to half of her precancer size. I remember her as someone who is jovial, caring and warm. I could just walk into her house and tell her that I craved for this or that and voila! you can be sure for it to be on the table for the next meal.

After we die, how long will we be remembered? Or how will we be remembered? For most of us, ordinary people, me, in particular, if I were to leave this world now, I will most probably be vividly remembered by my husband, my children and friends for 5 years at the most. Hopefully my children will keep on praying for me through out their lives. My husband would most probably take up another wife in a snap. It will take much longer for my parents. After that, most probably life will just go on and everybody will be bogged down by their daily tasks and activities and very soon, I will just exist in a small compartment of their memories. And as for my childrens' children, I would be almost non-existent to them. As they say time heals all wounds. And thats the way it should. I mean I would not want people to mourn for me for too long. I want them to get on with their lives and pray for me whenever they can.

Why am I talking like this? Please don't get me wrong. I'm not planning to die just yet. I'm just thinking of how insignificant we all are..I mean let's face it, how many of us are Michael Jacksons? Elvis Presleys? P.Ramlees? or great Philosophers or world leaders? These people are remembered generations after generations for their great achievements. However, people like Hitler are also remembered generations after generations for different reasons.

For the rest of us, after we are gone, we will only be remembered by people from our present or perhaps the next generation only. After that, it would be as if we never existed in this world...

Bye, for now.

May my aunt rest in peace and her soul embraced in Allah's love and mercy. Amin

"Cancer Sucks!"


Daria said...

I think about that a lot ... how long will we be remembered and what will we be remembered for?

pete said...

i just finished rereading this excellent post and it got me down in the dumps a bit.... however, i started laughing to myself when i got to thinking about how many people actually remember me while i am still kicking....

Sharifah Rashidah bt. Syed Ahmad said...


Yes, in our situation, I guess we can't help thinking about it, huh?


Very well put..reading your comment makes me laugh as well...yeah even now, how many people actually think of me?

mangchikla said...

"My husband would most probably take up another wife in a snap. " Claivoyant? hahahaha.. woww.. wonder what the significant other say...

Anonymous said...

My sister died of colon cancer in 2003. I still think of her nearly everyday. I know my other siblings miss her at every get together and my abah used to visit her grave everyday until his health failed him recently. And my mother has never gotten over her death.