21st Nov 2011 marked my forth year of leading a cancer free life. Being cancer free does not mean being free of the agony of the possibility of facing it all over again. Cancer has and always be at the back of my mind. However, that has not deterred me from enjoying life.
This morning I couldn’t help smiling to myself as a flash of an incident came to my mind as I was brushing my teeth. At the time, I was a bubbly English teacher. One of my students wrote about a pregnant fireman.
This was a part of what he wrote which was towards the end of his story:
The house was engulfed in flames and black smoke was smothering the onlookers. Every one was waiting in suspense. The fireman just rushed inside the burning house after the mother cried and screamed uncontrollably. Her baby was still inside. It happened so fast. The rescuers had to drag her out not realizing that the baby was still there.
Finally, at long last, everyone let out a sigh of relief, phuuuhhhh!!. The fireman came out, pregnant……..
I then called the boy and asked why he said the man was pregnant.
“Pregnant means carrying a baby, right teacher?”
Well, at least I know that I did a good job in the previous lesson on vocabulary, right????
This blog is dedicated to my family, relatives and friends who have been supporting and motivating me tirelessly to face this terrible ordeal. The same goes to all of you out there whose lives have been touched by this horrible disease called oral cancer in one way or another. I have been able to pull through because of your kind thoughts and constant prayers.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Monday, December 05, 2011
BALI, INDONESIA
Hi and salam,
I am now in Bali, Indonesia waiting for my sister in-law having her facial. I just had a foot massage..it was awesome… cost me just Rp55000 for an hour of massage which came to about RM20. Earlier on, we took a stroll down Kuta Beach. It is no wonder Bali is the place to be if you long for white sandy beach and crystal clear water. Oh…we have lots of beaches in Malaysia, but I would say that Bali is different. While we were there relaxing, there was an announcement, well, an instruction; to be exact directed to the snack and drink vendors on the beach to bring their garbage bags, garbage containers and rakes to the edge of the ocean and collect all the rubbish along the beach. And they willingly did it...which i think is just amazing..
A flash of pantai merdeka came into mind...the laksa and rojak stalls all over the place and rubbish scattered while the sellers just stay put waiting for the majlis people to clear the place...hmmmmmm
I am now in Bali, Indonesia waiting for my sister in-law having her facial. I just had a foot massage..it was awesome… cost me just Rp55000 for an hour of massage which came to about RM20. Earlier on, we took a stroll down Kuta Beach. It is no wonder Bali is the place to be if you long for white sandy beach and crystal clear water. Oh…we have lots of beaches in Malaysia, but I would say that Bali is different. While we were there relaxing, there was an announcement, well, an instruction; to be exact directed to the snack and drink vendors on the beach to bring their garbage bags, garbage containers and rakes to the edge of the ocean and collect all the rubbish along the beach. And they willingly did it...which i think is just amazing..
A flash of pantai merdeka came into mind...the laksa and rojak stalls all over the place and rubbish scattered while the sellers just stay put waiting for the majlis people to clear the place...hmmmmmm
Friday, November 25, 2011
POLYGAMY? NO WAY!!!
He goes out every nite and he meets the beautiful, young girl everytime..This has been going on for a long while. Her friends have been advising her to end the marriage because there's really no point in going on with it. Whenever confronted, he never gives her a straight answer.. denying, denying, denying...but she knows whats going on. Therefore, discussion is out. There's no end to it. She has lost her faith in him and has also lost her faith in the marriage. What kind of marriage life is this when he has his heart with the other woman? How can she perform her wifely duties sincerely with the blessings from Allah when her heart is full of hatred for him?
This other woman actually has a strong hold on him. Just by batting an eyelid, he would go crawling to her and be at her service. Its like 'your wish is my command!"
What should she do? Allow him to marry her and share him with the other woman? No way! Not that she's against polygamy...polygamy is ok as long as she's not the wife because she has a good, valid reason for it. Her health. If she contracts HIV from her husband who might have got it from this other woman, who's going to be responsible? Nope, she's not going to allow that to happen to her...husband sharing is just out of question.
Her health comes first!!!!
This other woman actually has a strong hold on him. Just by batting an eyelid, he would go crawling to her and be at her service. Its like 'your wish is my command!"
What should she do? Allow him to marry her and share him with the other woman? No way! Not that she's against polygamy...polygamy is ok as long as she's not the wife because she has a good, valid reason for it. Her health. If she contracts HIV from her husband who might have got it from this other woman, who's going to be responsible? Nope, she's not going to allow that to happen to her...husband sharing is just out of question.
Her health comes first!!!!
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
HABBATUS SAUDA
This morning, as I was pouring my breakfast down my tube, I saw a documentary on Habbatus Sauda on TV. It was said that this special herb contains a huge amount of anti-oxidants, amino acids and those other stuff needed by our body to build up our immune system and provide the necessary nourishment.
Studies on the egyptian mummies also found that this herb was used on the corpses to preserve it.
Habbatus Sauda is also mentioned in the Al-Quran to be the cure for all diseases. It has been found that the use of oil can cure alzheimer, cancers, heart problems and even HIV and other immune related diseases.
When I was in Mecca in 2009 performing the Umrah, I also bought a kg of habbatus sauda which only cost me about RM20. I was told that the maximum amount of the herb is 7 bits per day and thats what I have been doing since then. If you take more than 7 bits, your body will get heated up..
Studies on the egyptian mummies also found that this herb was used on the corpses to preserve it.
Habbatus Sauda is also mentioned in the Al-Quran to be the cure for all diseases. It has been found that the use of oil can cure alzheimer, cancers, heart problems and even HIV and other immune related diseases.
When I was in Mecca in 2009 performing the Umrah, I also bought a kg of habbatus sauda which only cost me about RM20. I was told that the maximum amount of the herb is 7 bits per day and thats what I have been doing since then. If you take more than 7 bits, your body will get heated up..
Tuesday, November 01, 2011
SHE KNOWS
He came back smiling sweetly and hugged her as though everything was as usual. As if his love for her never fades. As if she was the center of his being. How could it be possible when she knew that he was out last night to meet the girl. She also knew what they would do whenever they met. She always had this image of intimacy between him, her husband and her, the girl.
With that kind of image assaulting her mind, does he still expect her to perform her wifely duty sincerely whenever he had the urge?? Common man, she had feelings too, and she should not be treated as your sex object. You pounce on her like a hungry tiger and the next minute you are off to that girl without feeling a tiny bit of guilt. And the worst part is, SHE KNOWS!!!!
With that kind of image assaulting her mind, does he still expect her to perform her wifely duty sincerely whenever he had the urge?? Common man, she had feelings too, and she should not be treated as your sex object. You pounce on her like a hungry tiger and the next minute you are off to that girl without feeling a tiny bit of guilt. And the worst part is, SHE KNOWS!!!!
Monday, October 24, 2011
He's Gone
“Dear, I don’t think I have much time left. I have throbbing pain all over my body. I can’t go through chemo any more. I can barely move now. I have a feeling that my time is up. The angel will be coming for me soon. Therefore, I just want to apologise to you should I had done anything wrong to you since the first time we got to know each other. Please forgive me. I feel blessed to be given the chance to get to know you and I think you are a really wonderful lady even though we have never met in person. I know that you have gone through so much and I greatly admire your patience and strength”.
Those were his last words. And now, he is gone following his wife who preceeded him a few years ago due to breast cancer. He died of lung cancer. I pray that his soul rests in peace and is placed among Allah’s chosen people.
Al-Fatihah
Those were his last words. And now, he is gone following his wife who preceeded him a few years ago due to breast cancer. He died of lung cancer. I pray that his soul rests in peace and is placed among Allah’s chosen people.
Al-Fatihah
Monday, June 27, 2011
I'm ok...
As salam to all,
Many of my readers are wondering what's going on with me because there has been no new posting for quite a while..yes, i do realize that...and i'm sorry. Wish i could provide a good reason for that but honestly i don't have one. Its just plain laziness..!!!
The thing is I'm doing very well. A few weeks ago I had a ct scan done and all is well..nothing peculiar came up. My doc was very happy and she said that I'm one of the lucky few oral cancer patients. Most oral cancer patients like me who were diagnosed around the same time have been long gone...al-fatihah for them..may their souls rest in peace and placed among those who are blessed by Allah.
Last month I attended a video training course organised by Panasonic Malaysia Kid's Witness News along with 2 students. It was fun. My students learnt a lot. Me, I was quiet most of the time. A bit skeptical to open my mouth. Not many participants were aware of my situation. Then, came the last day, where every teacher had to say something about the whole course. When, it was about to be my turn to speak, my student, Asif, offered to speak on my behalf. He said, "teacher, just write down what you want to say and I'll say it for u". Now, being his teacher, how could I let him do it for me. It was my pride, u see. My pride as a teacher. I thought to myself, heck...I've spoken in front of a bunch of doctors before. Why can't I do it now..So, I said, "No, Asif, I'll do it myself..hand me the mic, please. Thank you so much for being concerned".
Then, I took the mic and started speaking. I couldn't care less if they had a hard time understanding me. It was their problem, not mine. I told everyone what happened to me since 2008 and explained why I sound different. They said that they could understand me very well. And after that, some of them came to me and said how sorry they were about what I had gone through. I said that, I'm ok..thank God. I'm still thankful that I'm able to do things just like before despite what had happened.
And last week, I had the pleasure of training our school debate team which I never thought would happen. For a very long time, I had this feeling that such kind of thing is just out of my league...
Bye, for now, with lots of love,
Sharifah
Many of my readers are wondering what's going on with me because there has been no new posting for quite a while..yes, i do realize that...and i'm sorry. Wish i could provide a good reason for that but honestly i don't have one. Its just plain laziness..!!!
The thing is I'm doing very well. A few weeks ago I had a ct scan done and all is well..nothing peculiar came up. My doc was very happy and she said that I'm one of the lucky few oral cancer patients. Most oral cancer patients like me who were diagnosed around the same time have been long gone...al-fatihah for them..may their souls rest in peace and placed among those who are blessed by Allah.
Last month I attended a video training course organised by Panasonic Malaysia Kid's Witness News along with 2 students. It was fun. My students learnt a lot. Me, I was quiet most of the time. A bit skeptical to open my mouth. Not many participants were aware of my situation. Then, came the last day, where every teacher had to say something about the whole course. When, it was about to be my turn to speak, my student, Asif, offered to speak on my behalf. He said, "teacher, just write down what you want to say and I'll say it for u". Now, being his teacher, how could I let him do it for me. It was my pride, u see. My pride as a teacher. I thought to myself, heck...I've spoken in front of a bunch of doctors before. Why can't I do it now..So, I said, "No, Asif, I'll do it myself..hand me the mic, please. Thank you so much for being concerned".
Then, I took the mic and started speaking. I couldn't care less if they had a hard time understanding me. It was their problem, not mine. I told everyone what happened to me since 2008 and explained why I sound different. They said that they could understand me very well. And after that, some of them came to me and said how sorry they were about what I had gone through. I said that, I'm ok..thank God. I'm still thankful that I'm able to do things just like before despite what had happened.
And last week, I had the pleasure of training our school debate team which I never thought would happen. For a very long time, I had this feeling that such kind of thing is just out of my league...
Bye, for now, with lots of love,
Sharifah
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Template Designer
Dear All,
Need some help here. I'm trying to change the outlook of this blog. Been trying to fiddle around with the template designer but to no avail. Still can't figure out how to use it.
Can someone please help???
Thanks.
Need some help here. I'm trying to change the outlook of this blog. Been trying to fiddle around with the template designer but to no avail. Still can't figure out how to use it.
Can someone please help???
Thanks.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
PEG ISSUE
There I was, clutching my tummy in pain, waiting for my turn to see the doc. I’d been having some issues on my Peg for a few days. There had been some pain around the tummy area but it was bearable. But, this was crazy. Then, “Sharifah, exam room 135 please”.
I then dragged my feet into the room and asked to lie down. After briefing the doc on my source of pain, she pressed firmly on my tummy where the tube was, and “bushhhh”, out came the tube, along with some of my lunch. And like magic, the pain was totally gone. That was when I realized how fortunate I was …the tube could have come off when I was pouring down my lunch just a few hours earlier. And if that was the case, where would my food have gone to? The thought of it is enough to make me shiver….and my lips quiver. She then replaced the tube with something that looked like a rubber tubing to prevent the hole on my tummy from closing up.
Then, the good doc said that I had to be warded because she wanted to make sure that there was no infection and I was in good shape. So, I did what the doc said and spent the night in ward 7A, the same ward I was in after my surgeries way back in 2008. There were a few familiar faces when I was wheeled into the ward. One of the nurses said that I’m going to have a long life (panjang umur) because just minutes before my arrival at the ward, she mentioned to her colleagues about not seeing me for a very long time and she was wondering how I was doing. Hmm…talking about karma….
I had a good sleep that night after taking some milk through my mouth. In the morning, I showered and got into a fresh pair of hospital pajama and walked down to get some papers as I was restless. I was not prepared to spend the night at the ward. So, I did not bring my laptop along. An elderly lady, who was accompanying her daughter, commented on how energetic I was for someone who is on tube feeding. Her daughter, who was of the same age as me was going through chemo because she has lymphoma and was very weak because of it. So, I explained that I was there just to get my feeding tube replaced. I was not sick or anything like that….
I then dragged my feet into the room and asked to lie down. After briefing the doc on my source of pain, she pressed firmly on my tummy where the tube was, and “bushhhh”, out came the tube, along with some of my lunch. And like magic, the pain was totally gone. That was when I realized how fortunate I was …the tube could have come off when I was pouring down my lunch just a few hours earlier. And if that was the case, where would my food have gone to? The thought of it is enough to make me shiver….and my lips quiver. She then replaced the tube with something that looked like a rubber tubing to prevent the hole on my tummy from closing up.
Then, the good doc said that I had to be warded because she wanted to make sure that there was no infection and I was in good shape. So, I did what the doc said and spent the night in ward 7A, the same ward I was in after my surgeries way back in 2008. There were a few familiar faces when I was wheeled into the ward. One of the nurses said that I’m going to have a long life (panjang umur) because just minutes before my arrival at the ward, she mentioned to her colleagues about not seeing me for a very long time and she was wondering how I was doing. Hmm…talking about karma….
I had a good sleep that night after taking some milk through my mouth. In the morning, I showered and got into a fresh pair of hospital pajama and walked down to get some papers as I was restless. I was not prepared to spend the night at the ward. So, I did not bring my laptop along. An elderly lady, who was accompanying her daughter, commented on how energetic I was for someone who is on tube feeding. Her daughter, who was of the same age as me was going through chemo because she has lymphoma and was very weak because of it. So, I explained that I was there just to get my feeding tube replaced. I was not sick or anything like that….
Monday, January 17, 2011
A Good Friend
I got this from somewhere....and I find it really touching...
If one day you feel like crying, call me
I don’t promise you that I’ll make you laugh
But, I’ll cry with you
If one day you want to run away
Don’t be afraid to call me
I don’t promise to ask you to stay
But I’ll run with you
If one day you don’t want to listen to anybody
Call me
I promise to be very quiet
But, if one day you call
And there is no answer,
Come fast to see me
Perhaps I need you
Thank you for always being there for me!!!
ps...don't we all long for a friend like this??????
If one day you feel like crying, call me
I don’t promise you that I’ll make you laugh
But, I’ll cry with you
If one day you want to run away
Don’t be afraid to call me
I don’t promise to ask you to stay
But I’ll run with you
If one day you don’t want to listen to anybody
Call me
I promise to be very quiet
But, if one day you call
And there is no answer,
Come fast to see me
Perhaps I need you
Thank you for always being there for me!!!
ps...don't we all long for a friend like this??????
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