Tuesday, July 15, 2008

When Cancer Strikes!

Hi to all:

When you are diagnosed with cancer, your whole life and your attitude towards life change. You start to look at things from different perspective. For example, before cancer came into my life, I used to be so scared to even mention the word, much less to even think that I might be getting it. Most of the time I would prefer to say "that disease" instead of saying "cancer". Now, I am the one facing "that disease" myself. And now, I feel quite comfortable to tell everyone that I have cancer.

In my previous posting, I mentioned that I had a lot of visitors when I was warded. Words got back to me that almost everybody who came said that they admire my courage. They keep on saying that I am highly spirited and that is one of the reasons for my fast recovery. Of course I am proud of myself when I heard that. Its just that I don't quite understand why people keep on telling me that because I am scared as hell. The future is so unsure. The thing is when you are diagnosed with cancer, there is no such thing as going back to your normal life. Life can never be the same again. You have to make a lot of adjustments in your daily life. You are also in a constant fear that cancer might visit you again.

In my case, the adjustments that I have to make is eating and of course speaking. Eating wise, I have to chew longer than others. This makes eating a bit taxing. So, I have to make do with soft food. Burgers and pizzas are out. When I eat out with my husband, he has to be very patient waiting for me to finish my food. I am a bit hesitant to eat out with friends because I don't want them to have to wait for me. Speaking wise, families and friends have to get used to my weird pronunciation. My husband said that he can understand 80% of what I say. It is sad because normally I am a chatty person with a good sense of humour (thats what I've been told). Well, I suppose 80% is not bad. All is not lost. Now, I tend to avoid getting into a conversation with strangers because I know that I sound funny and they would not understand what I've gone through.

But then, with time, you will get used to all the changes and adjustments that you have to make. I would say that I have already got used to some of them. I have my families and friends to thank for. I don't know what Allah has in store for me but I pray that it is going to be something better than what he has taken.



"Life is too short'


Anonymous said...

u very nice to me. i luv u.

HighFlyer said...

Farah ke ni?