Salam and hello:
Naturally, I am a very carefree and cheerful person who love my job as a teacher very much. In my 16 year teaching career, I had been on my toes doing a lot of things at school level, district, state as well as national levels and enjoyed every minute of it making a lot of friends along the way. I became busier than before when I transferred to my present school, SMK Air Merah because I was one of the pioneer teachers and we sort of helped in the setting up of the school. I used to get quite depressed when holidays approached because I was afraid of being bored of idling. I could never understand many people who often say that they can't wait to retire because I just could not stand the thought of not doing anything for years waiting for my time to go.
But now.....I have not been working since March this year. It has already been six months. Amazingly, I feel fine. I get to do a lot of things that I could not find the time to. I don't miss my busy teaching life at all ( writing record book, taking attendance, marking exercise books and exam papers etc, etc) but I miss teaching my students very much and most of all, my colleagues who are quite close to me. I miss the jovial environment in the staff room every morning when we greet each other and joke around. Sharing jokes/stories/problems during break times at the school canteen is already a norm.
Then, last Sunday they came to my house for a visit..yae! Azvida, Azlina, Linda, Shimah, and Jah with her daughter. It was really fun talking about school.
They filled me up about the latest gossips and the goings on. They wished me well on my radiation treatment. Too bad its ramadhan, so nothing to eat or drink. On the following Tuesday, Kak Saerah, Rohaizah and Fairuz came. All of them talked about how hectic things are getting at school now. The form five students are having their trial examination now and after this its going to be the final exam and so on...Oh.. I don't envy them at all.
Hei you guys, I miss you very much...
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Friday, September 19, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Home Sweet Home
Assalamualaikum,
Hello to all,
Got home last night. I was told by my doctors that there was no point for them to restraint me in the hospital anymore. I was fine. I was not sick at all. I was walking around everywhere, visiting other patients. I was always having either a book in my hand or a laptop surfing the internet and practically all the things healthy people do everyday except eating. I still can't take solid food yet, only liquids. And drooling. I am still drooling but not as much as before. So, when the doctor said that I could go home, I was really excited. I was at the hospital for 34 days!
Talking about drooling, my lower right lip does not feel anything. It feels as if you are about to have your tooth extracted where you don't feel a thing. Numb. That is why a lot of time, I don't realise that my saliva drips out of my lips. So, I have to have a box of tissue by my side at all times.
Many people say that I look a lot better now than I did after my first operation. My neck is not as swollen and I don't look pale at all. The only thing is that I have lost a lot of weight. I guess so because I can't take as much food. Just liquids.
On the 22nd, I will be seing the oncologist to discuss the radiation treatment. I heard that its pretty rough. I hope I will be able to go through it just like hundreds and thousands of others who have been through it and survived! I'll be admitted again on the 21st, and the hospital staff will take me to the Penang GH to see the oncologist. After that, I'll be transferred to another hospital in Kepala Batas where I'll be driven to either Pantai Mutiara hospital or Mount Miriam in Penang Island for the treatment daily. So, that will be another long hospital stay. Well, after being in the hospital for 34 days, I have kind of got used to it and to be pampered again by the nurses.
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and prayers.
Ok friends. Got to stop now.
Bye.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Hello to all,
Got home last night. I was told by my doctors that there was no point for them to restraint me in the hospital anymore. I was fine. I was not sick at all. I was walking around everywhere, visiting other patients. I was always having either a book in my hand or a laptop surfing the internet and practically all the things healthy people do everyday except eating. I still can't take solid food yet, only liquids. And drooling. I am still drooling but not as much as before. So, when the doctor said that I could go home, I was really excited. I was at the hospital for 34 days!
Talking about drooling, my lower right lip does not feel anything. It feels as if you are about to have your tooth extracted where you don't feel a thing. Numb. That is why a lot of time, I don't realise that my saliva drips out of my lips. So, I have to have a box of tissue by my side at all times.
Many people say that I look a lot better now than I did after my first operation. My neck is not as swollen and I don't look pale at all. The only thing is that I have lost a lot of weight. I guess so because I can't take as much food. Just liquids.
On the 22nd, I will be seing the oncologist to discuss the radiation treatment. I heard that its pretty rough. I hope I will be able to go through it just like hundreds and thousands of others who have been through it and survived! I'll be admitted again on the 21st, and the hospital staff will take me to the Penang GH to see the oncologist. After that, I'll be transferred to another hospital in Kepala Batas where I'll be driven to either Pantai Mutiara hospital or Mount Miriam in Penang Island for the treatment daily. So, that will be another long hospital stay. Well, after being in the hospital for 34 days, I have kind of got used to it and to be pampered again by the nurses.
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and prayers.
Ok friends. Got to stop now.
Bye.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Still in the Hospital
Salam and hello:
Today is the 25th day I am in the hospital. I am actually doing fine. I am not under any medication any more and I can walk around everywhere. The only problem is the dead cells on my tongue which is collecting milk residue. So, I have to wait until the dead cells and the milk residue comes off. Then only I can take other types of liquid food and be allowed to go home. As for now, I have to get by with milk. And because of that, fasting is out because I need to take the milk every three hours. On top of that, I also need to maintain a high level of oral hygiene. We are talking about rinsing my mouth with mouthwash 5 to 6 times daily.
Two days ago, one of my uncles was admitted at this hospital because of a heart problem. He has been going in and out the hospital for the last 4 years. He is suffering from high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease. He is now wheelchair bound. When my husband came yesterday, we went to visit him. He was quite chatty regardless. I hope he will get well soon.
On the 22nd, I will be seing an oncologist to discuss my radiation treatment. My doctor hopes to proceed with it as soon as possible. The treatment will take about 6 weeks. Well, looks like Hari Raya is also out for me. Thats ok because as things are now, not being able to celebrate Hari Raya is just a small matter. What matters most are getting better, family and friends! When people who matter to me are up and about, I am thankful.
So, folks. Thats all for now.
Bye and wassalam.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Today is the 25th day I am in the hospital. I am actually doing fine. I am not under any medication any more and I can walk around everywhere. The only problem is the dead cells on my tongue which is collecting milk residue. So, I have to wait until the dead cells and the milk residue comes off. Then only I can take other types of liquid food and be allowed to go home. As for now, I have to get by with milk. And because of that, fasting is out because I need to take the milk every three hours. On top of that, I also need to maintain a high level of oral hygiene. We are talking about rinsing my mouth with mouthwash 5 to 6 times daily.
Two days ago, one of my uncles was admitted at this hospital because of a heart problem. He has been going in and out the hospital for the last 4 years. He is suffering from high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease. He is now wheelchair bound. When my husband came yesterday, we went to visit him. He was quite chatty regardless. I hope he will get well soon.
On the 22nd, I will be seing an oncologist to discuss my radiation treatment. My doctor hopes to proceed with it as soon as possible. The treatment will take about 6 weeks. Well, looks like Hari Raya is also out for me. Thats ok because as things are now, not being able to celebrate Hari Raya is just a small matter. What matters most are getting better, family and friends! When people who matter to me are up and about, I am thankful.
So, folks. Thats all for now.
Bye and wassalam.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Monday, September 01, 2008
Passing Time in the Hospital
Salam to all:
When I had the first operation, I was not given any sedative before going to the operation theatre. So, I was conscious when I entered the OT. Upon realising what they were going to do to me, I started saying the shahadah. However, this time, its different. I was asked to take a pill which was supposed to calm me down. I was not told about how powerful the pill was. All I remember was that I was wheeled to the OT and I was waving my good byes to my family. When the door closed, I saw my mother in tears and then, I was out. Darkness. The next thing I remember was the ICU and the voices of my husband, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my brother, Rofli and wife, Zah and the whirring of all sorts of machines. Then, I counted my blessing for coming out of the OT alive. I did not get to say the shahadah before I blacked out!
It has been slightly over 2 weeks after the operation and I am still in the hospital. The doctor is still waiting for the lab report on the tissue that they removed. The lab report is needed before discussing my follow up treatment plan with the oncologist. I don't really mind being in the hospital because I have my blog and some books sent by Hizzad to keep me occupied. I got the books last friday, I have finished reading two: The Kite Runner by Khaled Houseini and Nadia's Song by Soheir Khasoggi.
The Kite Runner is an interesting story, about culture and life in Kabul, the hardship of majority of the people and the prosperity of the minority. It also centers around the dilemma and the guilt consuming the main characters (father and son).
Nadia's song is about the tragic life of a singer, Karima Ahmad, who was well-known throughout the Arab world specifically Egypt. Her life was intertwined with forbidden love, hardship, triump and tribulations. She lost her two year old daughter in a Hotel fire during her concert. Little did she know that her daughter was actually found by a childless couple who fell instantly in love with the lovely child and adopted her. Mother and daughter found each other eventually and realised how much they cared and loved each other. The story took a turn when Karima died in a hotel room and it was said that she died for taking sleeping pills and alcohol. This, her daughter would not accept and at the risk of her life, she strived to find out the real reason behind her mother's death and her findings startled her...
Now, I am on to the next novel, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. Whether the book is interesting or otherwise remains to be seen. I should be able to update you before I leave the hospital.
Who said hospital stay is horrible, huh?? Thank you so much, Hizzad.
By the way, I have perfected my swallowing technique. Now, I can finish 2 glasses of milk twice as fast as before. Just put the glass on your lips, tilt your head a bit, let the liquid flow into your mouth and use your breathing and your throat muscle to control the flow into your throat. Voila, you've got it made!
To my muslim brothers and sisters: Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan and Selamat Berpuasa.
May Allah bless us all.
Bye, for now.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
When I had the first operation, I was not given any sedative before going to the operation theatre. So, I was conscious when I entered the OT. Upon realising what they were going to do to me, I started saying the shahadah. However, this time, its different. I was asked to take a pill which was supposed to calm me down. I was not told about how powerful the pill was. All I remember was that I was wheeled to the OT and I was waving my good byes to my family. When the door closed, I saw my mother in tears and then, I was out. Darkness. The next thing I remember was the ICU and the voices of my husband, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my brother, Rofli and wife, Zah and the whirring of all sorts of machines. Then, I counted my blessing for coming out of the OT alive. I did not get to say the shahadah before I blacked out!
It has been slightly over 2 weeks after the operation and I am still in the hospital. The doctor is still waiting for the lab report on the tissue that they removed. The lab report is needed before discussing my follow up treatment plan with the oncologist. I don't really mind being in the hospital because I have my blog and some books sent by Hizzad to keep me occupied. I got the books last friday, I have finished reading two: The Kite Runner by Khaled Houseini and Nadia's Song by Soheir Khasoggi.
The Kite Runner is an interesting story, about culture and life in Kabul, the hardship of majority of the people and the prosperity of the minority. It also centers around the dilemma and the guilt consuming the main characters (father and son).
Nadia's song is about the tragic life of a singer, Karima Ahmad, who was well-known throughout the Arab world specifically Egypt. Her life was intertwined with forbidden love, hardship, triump and tribulations. She lost her two year old daughter in a Hotel fire during her concert. Little did she know that her daughter was actually found by a childless couple who fell instantly in love with the lovely child and adopted her. Mother and daughter found each other eventually and realised how much they cared and loved each other. The story took a turn when Karima died in a hotel room and it was said that she died for taking sleeping pills and alcohol. This, her daughter would not accept and at the risk of her life, she strived to find out the real reason behind her mother's death and her findings startled her...
Now, I am on to the next novel, The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. Whether the book is interesting or otherwise remains to be seen. I should be able to update you before I leave the hospital.
Who said hospital stay is horrible, huh?? Thank you so much, Hizzad.
By the way, I have perfected my swallowing technique. Now, I can finish 2 glasses of milk twice as fast as before. Just put the glass on your lips, tilt your head a bit, let the liquid flow into your mouth and use your breathing and your throat muscle to control the flow into your throat. Voila, you've got it made!
To my muslim brothers and sisters: Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan and Selamat Berpuasa.
May Allah bless us all.
Bye, for now.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Can't Wait
Assalamualaikum and Hello to all:
There are actually two teams of doctors who are taking care of me. The first, is the ENT group and the other is the plastic surgeons. According to the ENT doctors, I should be allowed to go home already if I prefer because my recovery has progressed so well. The coughing has stopped and there is no more problem with phlegm. The physiotherapist has been coming everyday.
Today, she came and saw me drinking milk from a cup. She said, "I don't know what else to tell you. Apparently she thought of teaching me swallowing technique! And I have been getting up at 6.00 am every morning and do all kinds of exercises that she had shown. Then, she smiled and left.
Then, came the ENT doctors, including Dr. Zul when I was having a mug of milk in my hand. He asked whether I've been using the feeding tube or not. I said, I've been told by the plastic surgeons to use the tube for feeding stuff other than milk and water. So, he said that I could try to take blended porridge orally. It has to be blended because I am not allowed to chew yet because they are afraid that I might break whatever is left of the jaw bone. My jawbone is still not strong enough. He said that this will have to go on for another two or three months. Boy, oh boy! If I can manage to take the liquified porridge, they can take out the feeding tube. Fortunately, came lunch time, I managed to down a bowl of blended porridge. So, looks like the feeding tube can go this afternoon.
Yesterday, a long lost cousin came visiting. She has been married to her brother in law for ten years; that is after the passing of her sister after suffering from cancer of the jaw. Her sister had 6 children. So, she is now taking care of the six children and her own child. Her late sister had a swelling under her right ear. At first, they thought it was just something to do with her thyroid. So, they just applied some ointment and seeked treatments from various clinics. When the bump did not go away after a few months, they decided to take her to the hospital. She stayed in the hospital for 8 days and nothing was given except some panadols. Finally, on the 8th day, they decided to do a biopsy and a ct scan, and the result came back positive. Then, the doctors planned for a surgery on the next day. However, on the next day, she passed away. That is how horrible this disease is.
So, you see. You really have to be on the look out for anything funny about your body.
Oh..oh. The nurse is here. Got to go.
Bye, for now.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
There are actually two teams of doctors who are taking care of me. The first, is the ENT group and the other is the plastic surgeons. According to the ENT doctors, I should be allowed to go home already if I prefer because my recovery has progressed so well. The coughing has stopped and there is no more problem with phlegm. The physiotherapist has been coming everyday.
Today, she came and saw me drinking milk from a cup. She said, "I don't know what else to tell you. Apparently she thought of teaching me swallowing technique! And I have been getting up at 6.00 am every morning and do all kinds of exercises that she had shown. Then, she smiled and left.
Then, came the ENT doctors, including Dr. Zul when I was having a mug of milk in my hand. He asked whether I've been using the feeding tube or not. I said, I've been told by the plastic surgeons to use the tube for feeding stuff other than milk and water. So, he said that I could try to take blended porridge orally. It has to be blended because I am not allowed to chew yet because they are afraid that I might break whatever is left of the jaw bone. My jawbone is still not strong enough. He said that this will have to go on for another two or three months. Boy, oh boy! If I can manage to take the liquified porridge, they can take out the feeding tube. Fortunately, came lunch time, I managed to down a bowl of blended porridge. So, looks like the feeding tube can go this afternoon.
Yesterday, a long lost cousin came visiting. She has been married to her brother in law for ten years; that is after the passing of her sister after suffering from cancer of the jaw. Her sister had 6 children. So, she is now taking care of the six children and her own child. Her late sister had a swelling under her right ear. At first, they thought it was just something to do with her thyroid. So, they just applied some ointment and seeked treatments from various clinics. When the bump did not go away after a few months, they decided to take her to the hospital. She stayed in the hospital for 8 days and nothing was given except some panadols. Finally, on the 8th day, they decided to do a biopsy and a ct scan, and the result came back positive. Then, the doctors planned for a surgery on the next day. However, on the next day, she passed away. That is how horrible this disease is.
So, you see. You really have to be on the look out for anything funny about your body.
Oh..oh. The nurse is here. Got to go.
Bye, for now.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Recuperating
Hello everyone:
Here I am again at ward 7a, bed 17. Feeling really great. The doctor just came by and said that everything is going well. I have started sipping water. Today, I am going to start drinking milk. Hopefully, I will be able to take food orally in 2 or 3 days. He also talked about the radiotheraphy treatment which he wants me to start as soon as possible. He is not taking any chances this time. After this, looks like I will be transferred to Hospital Kepala Batas for the radiation treatment. Well, whatever it takes, I'll go for it.
After the operation on Aug 13, I was pushed straight to the ICU. I came around on the next morning, I think it was around 10.30am. I heard my husband's voice reciting the Surah Yasin. Then, I knew I was going to be alright. A nurse came and talked to me. She said that she knew me when I had my first operation. She said that I will survive again because I am really a strong person.
That afternoon itself, the nurse came back saying that they would transfer me to Level 6 for observation. They prepared for me the self-administered morphine whereby I need to press a button whenever I feel any pain. When that button is pressed, the morphine would be transfused into my system. I only got to press the button 3 times. After that, it seemed that the machine malfunctioned. Fortunately, I did not feel any pain after that.
After 6 days, I requested to be transferred to the first class ward. The doctors readily agreed. I moved right away to level 7 and was put in a room along with 2 other elderly patients. One is a chinese lady suffering from a terminal liver cancer and the other is an Indian lady who had her knee cap replaced. The Chinese lady could barely move and she was groaning in pain most of the time. Her loving husband and relatives were by her side all the time. My heartfelt sympathy went out for her. On the next day, I was asked to move to a 2-bedded room which is more comfortable. This morning, I heard a commotion. Then, I found out that the Chinese lady had passed away in her sleep. My condolence to her family. Life is indeed too short.
I am now bored stiff staying in the hospital. I sure am glad that I have my laptop and some books with me. Friends and relatives who have been visiting almost every other day also help me go through my stay here. Yesterday, I had a visit from a cousin whom I had not met for years. Upon hearing about my condition, she quickly came to the hospital and filled me in about her siblings whom I used to know very well. That was really nice of her.
Ok folks. Will keep you updated, later.
Bye, for now.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Here I am again at ward 7a, bed 17. Feeling really great. The doctor just came by and said that everything is going well. I have started sipping water. Today, I am going to start drinking milk. Hopefully, I will be able to take food orally in 2 or 3 days. He also talked about the radiotheraphy treatment which he wants me to start as soon as possible. He is not taking any chances this time. After this, looks like I will be transferred to Hospital Kepala Batas for the radiation treatment. Well, whatever it takes, I'll go for it.
After the operation on Aug 13, I was pushed straight to the ICU. I came around on the next morning, I think it was around 10.30am. I heard my husband's voice reciting the Surah Yasin. Then, I knew I was going to be alright. A nurse came and talked to me. She said that she knew me when I had my first operation. She said that I will survive again because I am really a strong person.
That afternoon itself, the nurse came back saying that they would transfer me to Level 6 for observation. They prepared for me the self-administered morphine whereby I need to press a button whenever I feel any pain. When that button is pressed, the morphine would be transfused into my system. I only got to press the button 3 times. After that, it seemed that the machine malfunctioned. Fortunately, I did not feel any pain after that.
After 6 days, I requested to be transferred to the first class ward. The doctors readily agreed. I moved right away to level 7 and was put in a room along with 2 other elderly patients. One is a chinese lady suffering from a terminal liver cancer and the other is an Indian lady who had her knee cap replaced. The Chinese lady could barely move and she was groaning in pain most of the time. Her loving husband and relatives were by her side all the time. My heartfelt sympathy went out for her. On the next day, I was asked to move to a 2-bedded room which is more comfortable. This morning, I heard a commotion. Then, I found out that the Chinese lady had passed away in her sleep. My condolence to her family. Life is indeed too short.
I am now bored stiff staying in the hospital. I sure am glad that I have my laptop and some books with me. Friends and relatives who have been visiting almost every other day also help me go through my stay here. Yesterday, I had a visit from a cousin whom I had not met for years. Upon hearing about my condition, she quickly came to the hospital and filled me in about her siblings whom I used to know very well. That was really nice of her.
Ok folks. Will keep you updated, later.
Bye, for now.
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
Monday, August 18, 2008
Second Operation-August 13th
Dearest sisters and brothers:
I haven’t updated this blog because of two reasons: firstly, problems with my internet connection and secondly, my second operation which I had on August 13th. It was a 9 hour operation.
In the first operation, I had a total glossectomy ( removal of the whole tongue) which affecting my speaking and eating ability. This time, it’s a partial mandibulectomy (removal of part of the lower jaw) which doesn’t deteriorate my speaking and eating ability further. Thank god.
I was admitted on Sunday Aug 10th. When I first walked into the ward, the nurses were like, "hey, you are back". And I said, "ya, I missed you all so much". They laughed at my remark. So, on that day, they did an ecg and blood test. On the next day, my consultant came to inform that everything looks ok and they would proceed with the operation on the 13th.
Friends and families started visiting when they heard the news. Smses came in non-stop until the big day. They really cheered me up and kept on reminding me to focus my mind on being cancer free and a survivor. I was a bit disappointed though for not being able to get on line to send news to friends from other parts of the globe (those people from the mouth cancer foundation) who have been very supportive in this battle) and update this blog.
I was pushed into the operation theatre at about 11.30 am. My family members were all here. Then, a nurse came to give me a pill. She said that this is to calm me down. My brother Rofli, asked the nurse for the pill too. Everyone laughed. True enough the pill really worked. As soon as I got into the ot, I was knocked out, already in the dreamland.
My husband said that I came out of the ot at about 9.00 pm and the doctor informed him that everything went well. On the next day, I was transferred to level 6 for close observation, just as I expected. I still felt ok. Came the third day, I started feeling horrible because of the phlegm, coughing and continuous drooling. They have to constantly suck the phlegm out. Its feels terrible. They have taken out some of the tubes. I feel much better now, eventhough I'm still coughing and drooling because now I have my laptop with me and can get on-line.
The doctors just came and said that I am doing well and should recover soon. Well, let's see what they have to say tomorrow.
Until then, bye!
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
I haven’t updated this blog because of two reasons: firstly, problems with my internet connection and secondly, my second operation which I had on August 13th. It was a 9 hour operation.
In the first operation, I had a total glossectomy ( removal of the whole tongue) which affecting my speaking and eating ability. This time, it’s a partial mandibulectomy (removal of part of the lower jaw) which doesn’t deteriorate my speaking and eating ability further. Thank god.
I was admitted on Sunday Aug 10th. When I first walked into the ward, the nurses were like, "hey, you are back". And I said, "ya, I missed you all so much". They laughed at my remark. So, on that day, they did an ecg and blood test. On the next day, my consultant came to inform that everything looks ok and they would proceed with the operation on the 13th.
Friends and families started visiting when they heard the news. Smses came in non-stop until the big day. They really cheered me up and kept on reminding me to focus my mind on being cancer free and a survivor. I was a bit disappointed though for not being able to get on line to send news to friends from other parts of the globe (those people from the mouth cancer foundation) who have been very supportive in this battle) and update this blog.
I was pushed into the operation theatre at about 11.30 am. My family members were all here. Then, a nurse came to give me a pill. She said that this is to calm me down. My brother Rofli, asked the nurse for the pill too. Everyone laughed. True enough the pill really worked. As soon as I got into the ot, I was knocked out, already in the dreamland.
My husband said that I came out of the ot at about 9.00 pm and the doctor informed him that everything went well. On the next day, I was transferred to level 6 for close observation, just as I expected. I still felt ok. Came the third day, I started feeling horrible because of the phlegm, coughing and continuous drooling. They have to constantly suck the phlegm out. Its feels terrible. They have taken out some of the tubes. I feel much better now, eventhough I'm still coughing and drooling because now I have my laptop with me and can get on-line.
The doctors just came and said that I am doing well and should recover soon. Well, let's see what they have to say tomorrow.
Until then, bye!
Sharifah
"Life is too short"
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